Know your Beer: The Bitter

Sometimes I forget that not everyone is a beer geek. Not everyone has tried many of the styles of beer nor could tell them apart. They just enjoy their beer. I forget this.

But I do like thinking about what makes up a style of beer. I like to think about why there is a divide between say a porter and a stout. I guess that is why I am a geek. Nevertheless, I think if you are reading this blog, then maybe you too might wonder the difference. If anything, knowing these things might make my perspectives on beer a bit clearer. With that in mind, I give you Know your Beer. A simple look into styles of beer and what makes the beer you drink.

To start this new segment off, I am going to discuss one of the least understood styles in the States, the Bitter or more precisely, the Ordinary Bitter. There are actually three types of Bitters: Ordinary Bitter, Best Bitter, and Extra Special Bitter or ESB. Right now, I am only talking about Ordinary Bitter, the other two will be discussed in a later article.

There are two reasons why this beer is misunderstood by American drinkers. First off, the name. With a name like Bitter, it sounds like a beer that is really hoppy and has a harsh bite. Quite the opposite is true. More on that in a minute.

The other reason is that Bitter's style is really hard to lock down. It comes in an array of colors from a golden amber to a darker chocolate. Its flavors are just as various, ranging from sweet, fruity apple and pear to creamy smooth butterscotch. Because it varies so, it can take a slightly adventurous soul to blindly order an unknown pint of Bitter as you might be expecting a different flavor than you receive.

As I said earlier, Bitters are not bitter beers, they are actually referred to as a session beer. Session beers are beers that are easy to drink, light in alcohol, low in carbonation and tend to be very well balanced, just enough sweet to mellow out the hops. People would venture to pubs have a few pints of Bitter and still be able to maintain, albeit more lively, discussion on current events or politics. The K Y Jelly of social discourse. The flavors of the Bitter need to be very enjoyable and the alcohol present, but not overpowering, otherwise it fails as a session beer. Not burping all the time is nice too.

One might think that the unpredictable nature and that mellow flavor of the Bitter is a bad sign, but once you think about it, the combination is the strength of the beer. You get a lot a variety within the style and the chances of you finding an offensive Bitter are low. Also, it is a great beer for those that don't like heavy/big beers or have never ventured past Budweiser. I am thinking about those friends of yours from college that, in beer terms, are still in college or your girlfriend.

Girls, if you are going out for a night on the town with a new man and he wants to stop off at a pub, ask for a Bitter.

Girls, if you are going out for a night on the town with a new man and he wants to stop off at a pub, ask for a Bitter. For one, the guy is going to be super impressed that you want to drink beer, know about something other than Stella, and it just sounds hot. Maybe try it in a British accent. Also, you can keep up with him and maybe even drink him under the table. Just a word of warning, because it is lighter and you can theoretically drink more, makes sure that the restroom in the bar is up to your standards as you will be taking a few trips throughout the night.

Bitters really are a great beer just as long as you understand what a Bitter is and have a better idea of what to expect when the bartender pours you a pint. As I discussed in my 1st post about Extreme Beers, you can't drink many pints that have crazy levels of maltiness, hoppiness, or alcohol. A night of drinking is where the Bitter reigns as champ. This is probably one of the reasons that the Bitter is so popular in the U.K. but it is high time that the U.S. catches up to its neighbors across the pond and get in on some of the Bitter goodness.

Some bottled Bitters you can sample at home are:
Fullers London Pride
Young's Bitter
Goose Island's Honkers Ale

But possibly the best place to try a Bitter is from the cask at a Pub. A good pub will have more options than anything you could find in a bottle. Have fun exploring!

Bring on the Timid Beer

My older brother Ian drives like a bat out of hell. This has been the case since I was a teenager. Once, when I was riding shotgun in a friend's car, Ian blew past us driving at his normal clip. Our friend offered his perspective on Ian's need for speed. "Anyone can can break the speed limit, but it takes a true genius to break the minimum speed limit." 45 minutes and 10 miles later, we caught up with Ian.

With this story as a backdrop, I have an idea. So many brewers today are attempting to push beer into uncharted territories. Brewers are trying to figure out how to add more body, more hops, more alcohol, more, more more. Kudos to them and I look forward to enjoying their spoils of exploration. Want some names of beer to try? How about Dogfish Head's Golden Shower, an imperial pilsner. Besides possibly the best beer name ever ( can you imagine popping over to your local watering hole and asking the bartender for a Golden Shower?) it has a slightly sweet taste with a hint of orange followed with a nice soft punch of hops and cognac on the back end. Believe it or not, but this is based off the same style as a Budwiser. Or how about Chouffe Houblon Dobbelen IPA Tripel? This beer has a head of white frothy meringue, a nice hazy yellowish hue, a bit of honey, followed by the most wondrous gift of hops that can only be produced by the magical Amarillo hop. As with this consistent upward thrust, both of these beers double the alcohol levels of what most beers produce.

But with these two examples, it leaves me asking, is the only direction we can go is up? Up in hops, flavor and alcohol. But where is the exploration on the other side of this coin? The question I pose is, why not down?

Anyone who has been to brunch with me knows that I hate restaurants that serve only breakfast food for brunch. I don't like eggs, don't drink coffee, and the idea of eating something sweet for the first meal makes be go into some kind of diabetic shock. That leaves me with eating lunch for breakfast. Now this next statement might worry those that love me and will encourage attendance to one of those meeting that suggests you take it one day at a time. I forgo the risk for the sake of beer and all those that enjoy it. Why not make a big flavored beer that has practically no alcohol and serve it for breakfast. Something like a lightly carbonated, low alcohol, full bodied sweet lacto stout sounds like a dream.

If you have not yet tried a sweet lacto stout, run out and grab Hatachino's Nest's version of the style. It is easy to come by and does the style well. They use lactose, or milk sugar, which does not ferment, but adds an sublime, silky smooth, milky taste to the stout. The roasted barley in the stout brings a rich, nutty, almost coffee-like flavor to it. For you history buffs, during the civil war, coffee beans were as hard to come by as a black man serving in the confederate army, so the soldiers used to drink a hot brew of roasted barley as a substitute. It tastes kinda like watered down coffee.

Now, here is the part where I create my rational for drinking beer for breakfast while not looking like a complete alcoholic. If everyone on the planet can drink coffee for breakfast, then why can't I get a low alcohol version of the sweet lacto stout style which has a similar taste profile to that of coffee? I mean, the Irish have been drinking stouts for breakfast for centuries. Oh wait, that probably didn't help my case. But seriously, if the alcohol is minimal, but the flavors are that of coffee and milk, why not? (pretty weak rationale, huh?)

So I call on all the experimental brewers out there. Tap in to this unexplored region of beer, the Mount Everest of beer, if you will. Show me what type of geniuses you really are by pushing the minimum and not just the maximum. And when you do deliver, I promise I will add it to my list of things to consume for breakfast, no matter what social awkwardness may arise!

Organic Beer is Fucking Stupid!

Ok, now that I have that off my chest, let me explain myself to all of those angry treehugers (I get to say this without offense, I grew up in VT).

First off, do not try and say "Cause it tastes better". This is bullshit. I have had non-organic beers that made me cream myself and organics that were as bland as a bud lite. There is no way that you can convince me that it improves overall quality, so do not even try.

Now in order to label a product as "Organic", the product must contain at least 95% organic ingredients. This amount does not include salt or water. That's right! There is no such thing as Organic table salt. Beer is 92% water, give or take a few points based on the style (a lite beer is going to contain more water than a stout). This is the origin of that phrase "drink one, piss two". Manufactures of organic beer are only required to use organic ingredients in about 95% of 8% of the beer, or 7.6% of the bottle of beer. 7.6% of the whole product! If I tried to sell an organic fruit bar, and then told you that it was only 7.6% organic, you would demand your 5$ back.

The ingredients that could be used to make an organic beer are barley, wheat, hops, adjuncts (like corn or rice) and any specialties ingredients (like cherries in a cherry stout). Most of these ingredients are easy to produce organically, save one. Hops are really hard to source as the hop bine (it is a bine and not a vine) and the hop flower are susceptible to a wide array of attacks from bacterias, fungi, and viruses. It is unfortunate that one of the key components of beer is so finicky.

And what about water? As it is 92% of the product, shouldn't we be using the best fucking water on the planet? If a manufacturer is creating an organic beer, shouldn't there be some regulation on the main ingredient? I can create a beer that is made of organic barley, non-organic hops, and water from the east river and I can still slap an organic label on the beer. Why isn't there a demand that all organic beers use triple purified, charcoal filtered, glacier spring water? If the main ingredient isn't being regulated, can we really have an discussion on how it will/won't benefit our environement and health?

My main question in this organic beer revolution is from where are we going to source all these organic ingredients? In order to maintain current output without using pesticides, we will need to increase farm land, which destroys habitats and burns more fossil fuels as there is more land to work. Importing organic hops from New Zealand, one of the few places that does not have the same fungal issues as North America, will burn tons more fossil fuels, while raising beer prices dramatically. I am not saying that I want non-organic products, I am just being realistic. Does the use of organic ingredients in 7.6% of a product really improve our environment or have that dramatic of an impact on our bodies?

Instead of slapping the Organic symbol on everything, I would prefer to see breweries adopt other environmentally sound practices. Already, many breweries are shining stars of the recycle, reuse, renew concept. Spent grains are used as feed for livestock, the brewing process generates more yeast than the brewery can use (homebrewers, hit you your local brewer for some yeasty action), brewing water is heated via the last batch's heat during the wort chilling process, and on and on... There are some areas that breweries can improve on, such as basic green building practices, the use of alternate sources of electricity (Brooklyn Brewery uses wind power), cleaning and the reuse of run off water for toilets, watering the breweries grounds or even to help power the brewery. As for what you can do to get a more environmentally-sound beer? Restart the East/West coast rivalry. If you live on the East coast, buy only East coast beer and for you west coasters, buy West. Basically, buy more locally produced beers and shun as much imported beer as possible. We burn fossil fuels to bring that German Octoberfest to your local shop. Instead, go to your local brewery or beer shop and see if they will sell growlers ( for Park Slope, Bierkraft, Carol Gardens, American Beer Distributors, elsewhere try The Beer Mapping Project). That way you are buying local, buying in bulk, and reusing the glass growler. These are much more real than buying a bottle that charges you more cause it sports an organic symbol on it's label.

I am all for eating healthy products and supporting local producers, but please people USE YOUR HEAD! Christ, if Anheuser - Busch has jumped on this bandwagon, you know it has nothing to do with producing a good beer or a better environment. It is more about commanding a higher price for low cost product, all while trying to compete with the swell of micro breweries. As more companies jump on the organic train, my fear is that the term will be diminished to the "All Natural" or "Fresh" slogans of yesteryear. So please, think about this stuff. Ask yourself: are you popping open an organic beer cause it is better for the environment, better for your body (remember now, you are drinking beer), or are you drinking that organic beer because it makes you feel better about yourself, a fact of which many marketers are very aware and "could" be exploiting.