The Gateway Beers

I believe that the five most wonderful words in the English language are "Would you like a beer?". But there is a yang to this yin. A horrible concoction of verbal nastiness that is like a piercing sound that only beer geeks can hear and feel as it crawl up their spine no matter where they stand: "No, I don't like beer.". It gives me the shivers to even think about it. For those of you out there that didn't feel it rattle your soul, it probably means you have said this phrase at some point, and if so, then this post is for you.

I am not a beer snob that believes that if you don't worship beer, then there is something wrong with you. I like to think of myself as a beer therapist, a beer counselor, or that matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof, but for beer. What I am saying is that if you don't like beer, that's fine. But maybe it isn't that you don't like beer, but rather that you just haven't met the right beer yet. That is exactly what this post is all about, walking you or your no-beer-drinking friend thru a few beers that could help them see that there is more to beer than Corona.
**Side note:
I am not saying that these are the best beers ever, but I am saying that these are easy beers for the non-beer drinker to find, enjoy, and possibly get hooked on. This post is not for reader who, while reading, will think, "Shit, these aren't interesting beers." because if you know them, you are into beer. **

Believe it or not, but I used to not like beer. Granted, most of what I knew was the piss American lager from The Big Three, but for me, this first beer was like a first toke on a crack pipe. After one pint, I was hooked on beer.

Brooklyn's Weisse
The thing that shocked me about this beer was that it didn't taste like beer, or at least the beer that I knew. For you newbies, unlike a bud, when you pour it into your glass (if you were served with a lemon, don't squeeze it just yet), stick your nose in and take in the beer's aroma. What do you smell? Probably, the first thing you will notice is the sweeter, fruitier scents. Take a sip. For me, I am hit with bananas and clove. Maybe a bit of citrus and some breadiness, but overall a smooth beer with light bubbles that nip at your tongue that accentuates the zeztiness of the beer. Now ask yourself, is this like any other beer you have had? If you want to, go ahead and squeeze in that lemon. Take another sip.

You have just experienced what is called a Hefeweisen, a German style beer that means Wheat with yeast. The cloudiness within that orange wheat beer is yeast. The style is normally unfiltered. Don't worry, it isn't bad for you. It actually adds some of the flavors in the beer. Many brewers make this style of beer, esp German breweries, and is a perfect beer to drink on a hot summer day.

Unibroue Éphémère Apple
This Ale proves that Canada has more up its sleeve than Labatt's Blue, a beer that once again proves that Canadians have just as bad taste as American.
Éphémère's style is called a fruit beer. It is similar to the Brooklyn's Weise in that it is a light, fizzy beer that is wonderful on a summer day, save one aspect. Fruit! It is teaming with flavors of spiced Grannysmith apples, a slight hint of crisp pear and a touch of coriander. You could compare it to a cider, but it is really all ale.

Unibroque makes other fruit beers that fall under their Éphémère label, such as cranberry, peach, cassis, and framboise (raspberry). Belgian brews, like Éphémère, have a unique sub-style called Lambic entirely dedicated to the use of fruit and wild yeast. Many other breweries experiment with fruit/beer combinations, such as Dogfish Head's Peach and champagne-like whit ale Festina Peshe ( I am really excited to start drinking this beer this summer!)

Bitter
For you men who are fearful that all the beers on this list are going to be "Girl beers", this one is for you. I have already discussed Bitter in an earlier post and how it is a great beer for non-beer drinkers and experienced beer drinkers alike to start exploring. It is light, crisp, and don't let the name fool you, it ain't that biter. There is a wide array of Bitters, everything from light crisp style to an almost apple cider like beer. For the whole rundown on Bitters, read the post: Know Your Beer: Bitter.


OK, last "Girly Beer":

Hoegaarden (Pronounced 'Who-Gar-Den')
What can I say. This beer is super easy to find in New York and many other places. It is another Whit ale and has a unique flavor provided by the brewery's use of coriander and dried Curaçao orange peel. It has a very light flavor and like the Hefeweisen is unfiltered and typically served with a lemon. I like it cause it is simple, refreshing and really easy to find in NYC. Almost all midtown bars have the standard 3 imports: Bass, Guinness, Stella, and many of them rebound this list of monotony by offering Hoegaarden. So for you adventurous types who want to throw caution to the wind and break into beer, this one can be found all over the place and is worth a try.

An interesting side story about Hoegaarden: It was started like many other breweries are started, by one passionate man with a vision, but it ended, at least for him, on a sad note. The brewery caught fire in the mid 80s and a few other breweries pitched in to "help" him out. InBev, the largest beer company in the world, loaned them the money for the repairs. Once they were back up and running, InBev then leaned on Hoegaarden's founder to change his recipe to give it a broader appeal. The owner decided it was time to sever his ties with the brewery as he no longer had true control over the product. Sadly, the beer that you try today is this altered recipe and is owned and controlled by InBev. The founder moved to Texas to found another brewery to keep the original recipe alive. Making a woeful tale even bluer, his new brewery was also consumed by a major megabrewery, this time it was Miller. The true original recipe can be found thru a few small breweries in Belgium.


While this list is in no way a complete list of all the beers I would suggest, it is comprised of some beers that will intrigue new comers and are easy to spot in NYC. So, break the habit of saying No to beer and remember, at one point in time, I, too, had no interest in beers. But after a few pints of gateway beers such as these, I was a changed man and a few (thousand) pints after that, I was hooked in a real bad way. Here's hoping that even if you don't get hooked, you will at least find some beer that you can enjoy. And when that day happens, I can stop shivering every time someone, somewhere says "No, I don't li...." Sorry, I really can't say this awful phrase twice in one post. It hurts too much.

Bring on the Timid Beer

My older brother Ian drives like a bat out of hell. This has been the case since I was a teenager. Once, when I was riding shotgun in a friend's car, Ian blew past us driving at his normal clip. Our friend offered his perspective on Ian's need for speed. "Anyone can can break the speed limit, but it takes a true genius to break the minimum speed limit." 45 minutes and 10 miles later, we caught up with Ian.

With this story as a backdrop, I have an idea. So many brewers today are attempting to push beer into uncharted territories. Brewers are trying to figure out how to add more body, more hops, more alcohol, more, more more. Kudos to them and I look forward to enjoying their spoils of exploration. Want some names of beer to try? How about Dogfish Head's Golden Shower, an imperial pilsner. Besides possibly the best beer name ever ( can you imagine popping over to your local watering hole and asking the bartender for a Golden Shower?) it has a slightly sweet taste with a hint of orange followed with a nice soft punch of hops and cognac on the back end. Believe it or not, but this is based off the same style as a Budwiser. Or how about Chouffe Houblon Dobbelen IPA Tripel? This beer has a head of white frothy meringue, a nice hazy yellowish hue, a bit of honey, followed by the most wondrous gift of hops that can only be produced by the magical Amarillo hop. As with this consistent upward thrust, both of these beers double the alcohol levels of what most beers produce.

But with these two examples, it leaves me asking, is the only direction we can go is up? Up in hops, flavor and alcohol. But where is the exploration on the other side of this coin? The question I pose is, why not down?

Anyone who has been to brunch with me knows that I hate restaurants that serve only breakfast food for brunch. I don't like eggs, don't drink coffee, and the idea of eating something sweet for the first meal makes be go into some kind of diabetic shock. That leaves me with eating lunch for breakfast. Now this next statement might worry those that love me and will encourage attendance to one of those meeting that suggests you take it one day at a time. I forgo the risk for the sake of beer and all those that enjoy it. Why not make a big flavored beer that has practically no alcohol and serve it for breakfast. Something like a lightly carbonated, low alcohol, full bodied sweet lacto stout sounds like a dream.

If you have not yet tried a sweet lacto stout, run out and grab Hatachino's Nest's version of the style. It is easy to come by and does the style well. They use lactose, or milk sugar, which does not ferment, but adds an sublime, silky smooth, milky taste to the stout. The roasted barley in the stout brings a rich, nutty, almost coffee-like flavor to it. For you history buffs, during the civil war, coffee beans were as hard to come by as a black man serving in the confederate army, so the soldiers used to drink a hot brew of roasted barley as a substitute. It tastes kinda like watered down coffee.

Now, here is the part where I create my rational for drinking beer for breakfast while not looking like a complete alcoholic. If everyone on the planet can drink coffee for breakfast, then why can't I get a low alcohol version of the sweet lacto stout style which has a similar taste profile to that of coffee? I mean, the Irish have been drinking stouts for breakfast for centuries. Oh wait, that probably didn't help my case. But seriously, if the alcohol is minimal, but the flavors are that of coffee and milk, why not? (pretty weak rationale, huh?)

So I call on all the experimental brewers out there. Tap in to this unexplored region of beer, the Mount Everest of beer, if you will. Show me what type of geniuses you really are by pushing the minimum and not just the maximum. And when you do deliver, I promise I will add it to my list of things to consume for breakfast, no matter what social awkwardness may arise!